mentor of the month
Every month, Discovering Options recognizes an exceptional mentor!
For September 2009, Madeleine Weidhaas has been selected for her sincere dedication and time to the Discovering Options mission.
Somehow, I've been nominated as mentor of the month. I'm not sure why.
Unfortunately, I work on Saturdays so I miss out on meeting many of the mentors and the fun things that are planned for Saturdays. This leaves my protege and me with Sundays and occasionally weekdays (or evenings) since I'm available most days during the week. The outings can vary from 1 time a month to 5 times a month- it really varies! This coming November will mark two years since we've met.
What "exciting" outings do we do? Depends on our time and the mood we are in. Usually we try to do things that are free or of low cost. It takes the pressure off of the outing and the relationship as a whole. What we seem to enjoy most is shopping at Goodwill. There's always something there that can be bought for a couple of bucks. Actually, the fun is really in pawing through all the stuff. I actually like shopping there for goods for myself and my own kids and husband. I think it helps create an awareness that frugality can be fun and practical.
Since I have a membership to the YMCA, Tenisha and I like to go to family swim night on Friday nights. It's free for her and we work on teaching her to get used to being in deep water and gradually swimming- one day we'll get there. She LOVES the Y!
Another fun thing is going to Forest Park on a Sunday afternoon and taking a knee high dip in the waterfall in front of the Pavilion.
Sometimes I need to do some grocery shopping after our outings and that's fun too. I watch my prices and try to stick to the healthy stuff. Again- Tenisha realizes we all watch our pennies and we can get by on quite a bit less than we think we can if we spend carefully.
We've taken a few pictures together and I purchased a small photo album at the Dollar Store. She put in the photos and some other personal mementos and likes having that little book of experiences.
The only problems I've had is the going back home part. The outings are never long enough for Tenisha. I try to give her a time period of the next time we'll be together and to think about some activities she wants to do.
These outings work for both of us because it doesn't take a lot of planning and if something changes at the last minute it's ok. It's a relaxed mentor- protege situation but as Tenisha gets older (she will be 11 years at the end of this month) I would like to start talking about situations that she will be encountering as she gets older and how to create a life in which she has choices.
Whatever the outcome of all this, I hope to leave her with a memory that someone cared about her.
Madeleine Weidhaas
Note: This mentor neglected to mention the challenges she has had maintaining contact with her protégé when her mother’s telephone service was off and how she overcame the obstacle. Madeleine would write letters to Tenisha stating the day and time she would arrive to pick her up. Tenisha was always ready. Anyone who knows Madeleine knows that her relationship with her protégé is all about the quality of the time they spend together and not quantity of money spent.
Previous Mentors of the Month:
August 2009, Terry & Kathy Breeding
Terry and Kathy have been married for 46 years. They have 2 sons. Terry Alan is 44, and he has a 7 year old son, Terry Jacob. Michael is 42, and he is married to DD, who has a 20 year old son, Aaron. The Breedings are a VERY close knit family, with everybody still living in St. Louis. Adjusting to their empty nest, though, Terry and Kathy discussed mentoring many times over the years. When they heard about Discovering Options, they were immediately interested.
Terry and Kathy have traveled the world. They learned that people are people around the world, if you just treat them as people. They want to share these sorts of experiences with kids, hoping that this reinforces educational commitment.
Terry and Kathy mentor 2 kids, Eniya and Kameisha. They met the girls on May 22, 2008. Kameisha is the more quiet, serious type. Eniya is a whirlwind. Eniya had the habit of moving so far out in front in crowds that she got out of sight. After repeated mild chastising, they finally told her that ONE MORE time would be a strike OUT and that they would immediately take her home and MIGHT not come back. She has minded that warning for months now.
To help the girls avoid forgetting prearranged outings, they got the girls each a “social calendar” for Christmas. They taught them to write shorthand notes on the calendar when scheduling an outing. They have them agree to the date and time then get the calendar and notate it while still on the phone. Like, “T&K 1pm” in the box on the calendar for the date. Neither girl has missed a date since!
One of the biggest problems has been Eniya's family situation. Her mom and siblings moved several times in just the last year. It has been difficult to keep up. They are now been in FAR north St. Louis. To simply round up the girls, bring them to the house and take them back home runs around EIGHTY (80) MILES. Terry and Kathy have stayed with it so far to honor the commitment to Eniya, but are throttling back some from weekly outings because of the high mileage situation.
Terry and Kathy have done forty (40) outings with the girls. The girls really enjoy the outings. You can easily see the disappointment on their faces every time when told that it's time to take them home. The Muny Opera, Arch, Meramec Caverns, National Museum of Transport, Festival of Nations, Japanese Festival at the MO Botanical Gardens, picture shows and meals and games at the house have been fun and educational. Neither girl had ever been sleigh riding, so they especially enjoyed that outing. They also got a huge kick out of overnight camping in the motorhome, eating smores around a camp fire and fishing. They BOTH caught fish, too! Hiking at Elephant Rocks was a memorable day. Curiously, they seemed less than impressed at the Indian Pow Wow. 40 outings is too many to tell about them all.
Two special outings do merit separate attention. Eniya aspires to be a veterinarian. Terry and Kathy arranged to take her for a personal tour of the Animal Protective Association animal shelter. Eniya learned much and had heaps of fun THAT day! She especially LOVED the baby kittens. Kameisha wants to be a nurse. Terry and Kathy arranged for her to spend a few of hours actually doing real nursing work with a real nurse in St Mary's Hospital. Kameisha will not likely ever forget that afternoon, especially after she listened to a newborn's heart beating through the nurse's stethoscope!
Terry and Kathy definitely feel that they are a positive influence in the girls' lives. They fully intend to continue mentoring.
